The Problem With Functional Wanking

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Ah, the functional wank. I wanted to write a quick blog post on the subject inspired by this post by Girl On The Net and to get a few things off my chest in this anonymous, internet based way. It’s cheaper than therapy and I don’t have to admit anything to anyone in person, too. So that’s a bonus.

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The Joy Of Queefs!

Pretty girl with great fly-away hairAs I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post, my partner and I have been using condoms as our primary method of birth control for the last year of our relationship. I listed the pros and cons in the blog post but there was one thing I hadn’t considered I was missing till I watched a scene in a porn movie recently – queefing!

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Finding Self Love Within Others

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If you can’t love yourself, how are you gonna love anybody else? Words we’ve all heard. Words which make perfect, logical sense. If you aren’t the best possible version of yourself, why would you want to put that onto anyone else? All your problems, insecurities and baggage? I understand the sentiment but I just can’t carry it out with any conviction.

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All I Want For Xmas Is Anal!

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‘Tis the season of giving! Or receiving! Or whatever you like! Sadly, not so much in the Rose household. At least where anal is concerned.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to end up some complaining, moaning blog post about how my life’s terrible because one small sexual aspect of it is missing but goddam I miss anal. Both giving and receiving.

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Retired Sex Toys

ToysSo when clearing out your drawers, boxes, shelves or wherever you keep your old toys you will come across some you’ve not used in a while. Or you’ve only used once. Or they’ve broke and are in a very sorry state.

What to do with old sex toys? You can’t recycle them. You can’t give them to anyone as a present- “Hey this has been inside of me and gave me hours of fun! Your turn!” As far as I know there’s no drop off point (think ‘toys for adults’ charity boxes) and they’re a bit difficult to shred or burn.

So we just throw them out in the trash. Preferably hidden in some old towels, boxes or disguised underneath something lest the neighbours see our old novelties being tipped into the garbage truck.

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Being ‘The Reacher’ In A Relationship

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There’s a chance, if you’re reading this, that you read other blogs about sex, relationships and everything else involving what two people can do together. If you’re like me part of your reason may stem from a desire to better yourself for your partner. Or to try and answer why you are like you are; why certain things appeal to you and not the rest of the mass populace. Or you might just be a bit pervy and enjoy reading about other people’s kinks.

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