Ah, shopping. It divides couples, stresses everyone out and reminds you why you don’t like leaving the house during daylight hours. That last one may just be me but you get my point-shopping is rarely fun.
Fast forward to the digital age and it’s a whole different entity. We can browse Amazon in our underwear, pick through beautiful, custom made prezzies on etsy in our pyjamas and-the crux of this article-look at a bewildering amount of sex toys without actually having to admit what we’re secretly into.
In the past I’ve enjoyed shopping for sex toys in person-the first time on holiday when I was just a young man. We only bought a pair of terrible handcuffs and a hardcore magazine but that’s back when hardcore stuff wasn’t just something the internet could magically produce.
The thrill of doing it in person is kinda fun but there’s no way it can compare to the leisurely time you can take browsing websites. Taking in all the explanations, videos, detailed descriptions and actual user reviews. Choosing something that you would never normally in person for a one off special occasion (hello fox tail butt plug!) or getting excited by stumbling across something you hadn’t even thought of till you fired your computer up and were suddenly staring at your seventh page of various size dildos. And possibly being scared by something called ‘the great American challenge’ before vigorously looking for videos to see if anyone had actually managed to use it (spoiler alert, they have).
Online shopping with your other half can be loads of fun and sites are now much more female friendly, even if some of the packaging that older sex toys arrives in isn’t always. It can heighten the sense of anticipation imagining using the item later. It can be funny, looking at some of the crazier stuff available and, most importantly, it can open up conversations.
“Can we try this?”
“That looks fun!”
“Oh! I’m not sure about that one! But what about this?”
You can choose your own level of commitment by asking probing or casual questions, testing your partners boundaries without ever revealing your own desires too much. Brushing it off to be talked about at a later date with the seed firmly planted in their head this might be something you’re into. They might be into it too but unable to ‘show their hand’ at that exact moment. This leads to another possibility-listening to your partner and ordering something as a surprise.
The surprise present can work in several ways. Holding onto it for a special occasion. Gift wrapping it to make it prettier. Using it on your other half whilst they’re tied up and/or blindfolded so you can gauge a reaction without them knowing. I have to add this last one requires a massive amount of trust so I’m not sure if it would work in a new relationship or casual a ‘hook up’ but maybe it could? I’m just basing things on my own experiences.
Finally, another way to shop online with your other half can happen without them being physically present. You could do something as simple as sending a link of an item you would like to try whilst they’re away. Note, if they check their emails at work it’s just common sense to mark your email ‘NSFW’ or ‘open when alone’-no one wants to be staring at sex toys with their boss hovering over their shoulder.
This method works really well if you’re shy or the thing you’ve got your eye on is particularly ‘out there’ from the normal play boundaries you’ve established in your relationship. A little note to say how you might like it used on you or a specific scenario you’ve got in your head can really get your prospective ‘toy tester’ on board-especially if they can feel your enthusiasm in your description.
It also worked well for me to suggest some different types of outfits I would love to see my other half wearing. It gives them the impression of what you like but they themselves can pick out the correct sizes, style, cut and their own level of exposure. Say you would really love to see them in stockings but they hate the way their legs look in them? If you’ve mentioned it’s mainly the feel of the material they could choose a body stocking and have the ‘protection’ of covering up whilst still adorning their body in the gorgeous material you want to touch.
To close I was going to provide a list of sex toy shops I like to use but the options are so wide (and growing everyday) that discovery can be part of the fun. Even Amazon is in on the whole sex toy thing now so the net has been truly cast far and wide. Happy shopping!
Sex toy shopping-like regular shopping but with added kink!